Opposite Omens
by SaltyLoaf
Summary: Imagine a world that a single swirl on your body can change the course of your entire life. One person can change your life for better or worse, and there's nothing either of you can do to stop it. Or, so it was thought. Dan and Phil live together as best friends until a single tattoo flips their entire lives upside-down. Will they be torn apart or become closer than ever before?
1. Chapter 1 - Putting the Pieces Together

After a long night of sharing jokes and watching movies, everything had finally started to slow down in the lives of Dan and Phil. The outside world, despite them living in the city, had for some reason almost gone completely quiet, leaving Dan alone with his thoughts. His friend had his focus on the movie playing on the screen in front of them, Lord of the Rings: Return of the KIng, so he didn't even notice when Dan slipped off the couch and into the kitchen. More than anything right now, he needed time to think.

It had been about a month or so since he had realised his feelings for his best friend. Or rather, more than best friend feelings. The duo had been side by side for almost a decade, the thought bringing a subtle smile to his lips. A decade? He never really thought he would make it this far with anyone, much less his idol and man of his dreams. Mid-twenties in age, he was supposedly at the height of his life… now that was a reaching assumption about humanity that he could agree with. However, as he fumbled around the kitchen lost in thought, he somehow managed to slip on a loose floor tile. They should really get that fixed.

As he crashed to the ground, he let out a long stream of curse words, causing Phil to turn away from the movie for the moment and laugh at him. Dan clapped at himself sarcastically in response, prompting yet another snort from his friend before he turned back to the film on screen. Must have been a battle scene. However, just as Dan was about to put down his arms to stand up, he spotted something familiar. The tattoo on his upper arm.

Everyone in the world had one, from birth till death. These designs in particular were distinguishable by a very faint glow around the edge of the design. Irremovable and completely unique to each pair, the patterns certainly at least started as one of humanity's greatest mysteries. Only after countless years of private research on the subject was an answer finally proved and released to the public. The story went as follows:

Every time a child was born, a completely unique mark was to appear on their body, the location being random. Well, almost completely unique. The connection the studies had discovered stated that each person with the same mark, in one way or another, would be related to a significant event in each others lives. If the effect of said person was to be overallly positive, the outline would be white. Oppositely, if the outcome was to be negative, the outline would be a dark black..

Simply thinking about reality in this way sent shivers down his spine. What if his greatest enemy was standing right in front of him, and he would never know? His tattoo in particular raised too many questions to count. The image depicted a looming white tree upon a black background, swirls of grey scarcely decorating the painted sky. The entire picture was outlined in a glowing white, a sight that was at least reassuring to see. The picture could have been almost beautiful if he had any clue what it meant. What did the tree mean for him? Did it mean anything? Did he already know the one who shared his tattoo? Was it black or white? Did it even matter?

Snapping back to reality, Dan pulled his sleeves back down and took a deep breath. " _No time for a crisis tonight Dan. Today is the day. Today you can finally have a chance at having a life worth living, before you're murdered in a forest or something. Is this what it means to live life to the fullest?"_ He had been planning out this exact moment a million times over in his head ever since the very moment he had realised his feelings for Phil. A million questions about everything imaginable still floated around and clouded his thoughts, just as they always did, but he pushed them away to the back of his mind for now. He'll have to deal with the consequences later. When he wasn't confessing.

Taking one last deep breath, he walked over his friend on the couch. The movie's credits were rolling, Phil gently snoring to the soft music playing behind them. The sight brought a smile to his face, him then beginning to shake the man's frame slightly, trying to wake him up. He didn't move a muscle. Maybe staying up until 5 am watching anime for five days straight wasn't such a good idea after all. Dan shook his side again, this time with more force. However, instead of getting to see his eyes flicker open, his body moved in his slumber, freezing Dan solid.

There, just above his ankle, was a glowing black tattoo. How had he never seen it before? To be fair, nobody in this universe tended to show others their tattoos. After all, what was the point of living in fear or anticipation? But his friend's secrecy wasn't what had made him go cold. The design of Phil's tattoo wrapped slightly around the curve of his leg, causing the image to be slightly distorted. But that didn't make the realisation any less obvious. Pulling up his own sleeve for confirmation, then back at Phil, his mouth fell open in shock. Phil had his tattoo.

Dan was at a complete loss for words. What can he do? Can he do anything? How bad would this event be? How soon? Could it be tonight? While he slept, Phil could sneakinto his bedroom, a knife in his hand, a smile on his face. Hovering over his friend's… no…. his _victim's_ limp frame, bringing the blade down…. "NO!" the brown haired man yelled out, instantly regretting everything.

"Dan? Are you alright?"

There was no time for love. There was no time for anything. He had to clear his head. He needed time to think about everything. This was all going too fast.

Looking back at Phil one last time, he booked it to the door of their flat, running as fast as he could down the stairs and out of sight.

Phil was beyond confused.

What had he just woke into? One moment he had been peacefully dreaming of sugarplums and Lord of the Rings battle scenes, and then he wakes up to his friend's terrified expression. That was the worst part. The fear. Phil had been living with Dan for around eight years now, and he had _never_ seen him look at _anything_ that way before, much less him. So what was it? What had he done?

It's quite hard to find such an answer when ten seconds after seeing that fear, it runs. And runs. It runs oh so far away. There weren't many options left in that moment. So, like anyone would do for their best friend, he ran after him.

Luckily enough, neither of them were really in the shape to be running anywhere, much less at full stride. Adrenaline can only do so much before your muscles catch up with your mind, begging you to let your body rest. Dan having not slept a full night sleep in days, had much less energy than Phil, leaving him easy enough to track down. Well, that is if the pursuing party had the motivation.

Upon reaching the bottom of the steps, Phil turned his head around the corner of their building, catching a glimpse of his friend's black sweatshirt trailing behind him. Energy suddenly pulsing through his veins, he continued to run right after him, yet still keeping a considerable distance. After all, he was curious where he had been running in the first place. Maybe that would be the first step towards figuring out why his friend had tried so desperately to escape their flat in the first place.

" _What could I have possibly done?"_ Phil thought to himself. " _I've seen Dan scared before, but never like that. He looked more like a deer in headlights than a human being. But what could make him feel so terrified? Was he in danger? And if so, what from?"_

Phil was so utterly lost in thought, he didn't even realise that he had lost him. Spinning in circles of confusion over and over again, he let out a deep sigh. Guess he would have to just search for him the old fashioned way. However, this task may not prove to be as hard as would be assumed.

Sure, London was enormous, but there was only so many places that Dan would really go to. He would need to go to some sort of refuge, a safe place. A place that could help him clear his head. He would also not be able to go into buildings, being that it was around 2 AM. Darkness engulfed the sky, so that somewhere had to be well lit with street lights of some sort. Somewhere relatively close to the flat….

"The park!" Phil thought out loud, instantly beginning to sprint down towards it. His brain was a roadmap, and Dan was the destination.

Upon reaching the park edge, he slowed his pace. There was no way he was going to lose him again now, he was too close. Darting from tree to tree, his eyes searched every corner, raven black hair blending with the shadows. When every movement just seemed to be a false alarm, squirrels or birds, he had almost given up hope on finding his friend. But that was before he heard the voice.

He instantly advanced towards the voice in the corner of the park, recognizing it immediately. It didn't take long for him to reach a nearby spot behind a tree, being able to see his friend's bouncy brown curls in perfect view. However, as much as he could see Dan's clothes and looks, he just as clearly could see the tear tracks staining his face. His heart shattered.

"How could I be so dumb? I should know better to not get too close to people in this world. Every corner is a new danger, every person a possible threat. Why did I even think for a moment that I could live a normal life? Does fate have to ruin everything? He probably doesn't even like me anyway. To Philip Lester, I am virtually nothing. I'd be better off if I just left this town and…"

"Not true!" Phil shouted from behind the tree, standing up in defense. He instantly regretted it.

Upon seeing his friend's face, Dan's was once again filled with the same fear as back at the apartment. For some reason though, his face fell again only moments later, more to a face of perplexment than fear. The dramatic mood change gave Phil the same confusion, making him wonder what was really going on inside his head.

" _Well,." he thought "I guess there's only one way to find out."_

Taking a deep breath, Lester walked over to the bench and sat next to Dan on the bench. His friend was shivering furiously. Words were tossing themselves around in his head, trying to come up with something to comfort him. Only one thought came out.

"What did I do wrong?"

Dan propped up his head and looked Phil straight in the eyes, longing and sadness plastered across his entire expression. Closing his eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath, he stated, "Something neither of us can control."

At that he stood up and walked away, pulling his hood over his head. All motivation to follow him had faded away. He'll be back right? Right? All alone now in the park, Phil sat there, tears streaming down his face like small waterfalls.

 _What did I do wrong?_


	2. Chapter 2 - Reunion

It had been three days since he had walked away. Walked away from his problems. Walked away from his life. Dan never really realised before just how enormous London was, the city being made up of a seemingly endless maze of streets, alleyways, and shops.

However, despite all the options for locations to escape himself, Dan couldn't seem to keep away from their apartment. He would be having a good day, unconsciously fumbling around town, and then the memories would come flooding back. Sometimes it was just too much to take.

It was midnight again and Dan was back at the park. It was like a tie to reality, his last tie to Phil. Looking all around, he noticed he was alone again. All alone. However, it reality, he had felt this way for as long as he could remember, his conscience being in a constant battle for dominance against the other voices. Luckily, his conscience seemed to be winning.

"You know, Phil probably does miss you."

 _And what gave you that idea?_

"Well, he seemed genuinely worried when I left. Like, almost destaught. I hope I didn't hurt him too bad…"

 _He probably barely notices that you're gone. What if you're in real danger by going back there? You have to stay hidden Dan._

"But he at least deserves an explanation! I just stormed off without telling him anything! I can't help but feel bad… he's my best friend! If I ever hope to be anything more… I have to be honest."

 _But what about the tattoo? What about the black? You don't know when it could strike!_

"If Phil has taught me anything, it's to live life in the moment. I have looked into the future all my life, trying to imagine a better tomorrow. Or a worse one. But the truth is… how will we ever reach that tomorrow if we don't live to our fullest today? Who cares if he shanks me in the forest next month, I'd rather be happy now than to never be again."

…

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Now, let's go back home." And at that, Dan leapt up from his spot on the park bench and started his stride towards the exit. Maybe stepping out of this flower-covered prison will make him one step closer to figuring out how to fix this mess he's put himself in. After all, the event couldn't be that bad.

 _ **Right?**_

Phil hadn't gone outside for three days.

Well, he didn't really go outside much for any reason ever… but this time, it was different. Ever since Dan had waltzed out the (lady)door, Phil hadn't been the same. He hadn't thought straight. He couldn't. It seemed he had gone through every possible scenario in his mind at this point, just trying to figure out some sort of reason to why his friend had just got up and left. Had he gone on a last minute whim to go visit his family?

Yeah, no.

As much as he wanted to believe that the it wasn't his fault, he knew the truth deep inside of him. Dan had been very specific in his words when they talked at the park.

 _Something neither of us can control._

What is that supposed to mean? What is something that he can't change? He can't be him as a person, right? Recently Dan and him had become closer than ever before, so that couldn't be true! Could he have done or said something in his sleep? Did he just really not like Lord of the Rings?

None of the ideas seemed to stick. Luckily enough, their personas as "Daniel Howell" and "AmazingPhil", didn't tend to be too active on a daily basis, regardless if their friendship was at stake or not. It was normal for the people in their fanbase to tolerate such a thing, so three days of disconnection wasn't that much of a stretch for them not get suspicious. Except for a select few, but nobody listened to the crazies anyway.

The thought reminded him of something…. there never seemed to be a point in time that Dan WASN'T on at least some sort of social media, even if he was only browsing. He might be able to check his sanity by seeing if he had logged into any media lately. Even better yet, he knew the man's weakness: continuous begging and bother over text. If there was any chance of finding his friend and fixing all of this, he needed to be able to contact him first. It's not like he would just bump into him, or at least, not if Phil didn't look first.

A sudden burst of motivation flushed through his veins, bringing him to his feet. If he was going to be able to find his friend any time soon, he had to at least try. And, last time he checked, lounging around moping in the flat didn't count as trying.

So off he went.

At this point in time, Dan was practically skipping his way down the pavement, weaving through streets and past countless road signs. The weather was sunny but slightly overcast, the temperature being a nice cool 13 degrees…. perfect to have a possibly heated conversation. As much as he tried to talk himself out of it along the way, the curly haired man had almost reached the flat already, only being a couple blocks out of the way.

Now that he was this close, he realised something: he didn't have a plan. Or really anything to implicate what he came here to do. He didn't have any flashcards, or mental outline, or scribbles on his forearm… how was he supposed to get through a pressured situation without a script?

He took another deep breath. This is different than American customs. This time, it was his friend. No, his BEST friend. He had been friends with Phil for nine years, so they must be at the point where they could just talk to each other, no matter what the problem is. Even if the problem involved a possible life threatening tattoo and event that could occur or be foreshadowed at any waking moment. Simple. Right?

He could see the building now, his stomach practically doing somarsaults in anticipation. Guess this was it. The conversation that could make or break one of the most important relationships in his entire life. No big deal. Taking one last deep breath, he pushed open the doors of his building, only to bump straight into the tall, lanky giraffe that is Phil Lester.

Phil was in complete shock.

He hadn't really been going at a slow pace when he had began to move towards that door, so when his friend rammed straight into him, Dan was the one to fall. He fell straight backwards onto the pavement, just barely being able to catch himself before his head hit the ground. The boy then looked up and gave him a weak-hearted grin, only to shortly return back to his previously serious expression.

"We need to talk. Please."

The statement caught him by surprise, the feeling only heightened as Dan got to his feet and grabbed his hand, practically dragging him all the way back to the flat. Something about the way the caramel curls atop his head bounced up and down as he walked seemed to leave Phil mesmerized, only snapping out of the trance upon reaching their front door. Dan, despite having not seen him for days, felt no hesitation in simply dragging Phil back onto the couch and sitting right next to him. Just like they used to.

"So. I owe you an explanation."

Phil couldn't really bring himself to respond verbally, so he just nodded. He seemed to still be in more of a daze than reality.

Rather than taking the time to explain everything the long winded way, Dan chose the easiest way possible. With a simple roll up of his sleeve, he revealed his tattoo, gesturing Phil to do the same. Curious, he complied. He realised quickly that the two shared the same design, a fact he had vaguely suspected from the beginning. But that wasn't the most interesting part of his observation. His ears instantly perked up in curiosity.

"Grey?"

That was new. Never in his life had he seen a tattoo with a grey outline, much less his own. Last time he had seen it, the outline had been a dark black, almost raven.

"But… it was black. What happened?" Dan asked curiously, clearly being just as clueless as Phil assumed he would be.

"Is that why you ran away?" Phil replied gently, tilting his head slightly as a result.

Silence. But his expression said everything that he needed to know. His eyes were desperate and scared, his body language tense. Seemed like he hadn't been ready to give up on their friendship just yet either. But then, something else changed.

The outline around Dan's tattoo began to flicker, quickly switching between shades of black, white, and grey. The men stared at the colors with bewilderment, never having seen such a phenomenon anywhere online. And that was supposed to be where you find special effects. The flickers went on for about 30 seconds before it settled on a light shade of grey. And it seemed like it was going to stay that way. Or at least for now.

"Woah…" was all that Phil could make out in that moment, his mind fried. Was that what had happened to his own tattoo while he wasn't paying attention?

"Should we let anyone know about this?" Dan asked, all tension between them having fallen away.

"No… or at least not yet. Maybe there's a community out there somewhere where there are people like us with changing shades!"

"I'm more worried about what this could mean for us, Phil. If black means a bad event and white good, then what's grey? Kinda good, kinda bad? But how can something be good and bad at the same time? Are we the first ones? Will there be any more people like us in the future? What about our fu-"

Dan's rambling was cut off by a sudden embrace, one that was gladly accepted. Taking a deep sigh, Dan laid his head down on his friend's shoulder. The two stayed that way for a while, until the curly haired man pulled away to put his head down on the couch. Phil did the same.

"It's nice to have you back, Dan. We'll figure all this out soon, I promise. Just… don't run away again, ok?"

"Oh trust me, I won't. And, I'm glad you feel that way too, cause I wouldn't want to have it any other way."


	3. Chapter 3 - Destruction

Dan and Phil had been researching this strange grey glow for over a week now. Their audience had finally seemed to have picked up the hint that they were offline, starting to make small conspiracy theories about their disappearance from the media.

 _ **Was there a new book coming out?**_

 _ **Did they have a fight?**_

 _ **Were they on a honeymoon?**_

 _ **Were they sick?**_

 _ **Had Dan moved out?**_

 _ **Were they dead?**_

In a way, some of the assumptions WERE true. Well, metaphorically. Dan and him were sick on curiosity and anguish, almost like a drug. The two, Dan especially, were desperate to find an answer to explain all of the events of the past couple days. They searched news sites. Forums. Reddit. Nothing seemed to add up. It was almost as if the duo were the only ones to have experienced this in the entirety of human history! Or at least, if they weren't the only ones, the previous victims had decided to keep their exploits a secret.

That fact in particular wasn't very surprising. Phil personally didn't think that putting this online was a very good idea. They both had the huge personas as "Dan and Phil" and he just felt that this would just overcomplicate the entirety of… well everything. How would their audiences react if they felt that… real? After all, there was such a thing as too relatable.

However, it did seem that we were running out of options. Google is supposed to have all the answers…. right? But what if it didn't. What then?

The best option then would be to just give up and let nature take its course. If the tattoos were meant to define everyones' futures, was there any point in trying to understand it? Maybe the best solution was to simply let destiny control the course of history. After all: why worry about something that you can not change?

Dan hadn't slept in days. Ever since he had returned back to the apartment with Phil, nothing had really been the same as it had been. As much as he wanted to deny that something had changed between them, it was painfully obviously. While it was impossible to tell what that change was exactly, the air between him and his best friend seemed almost electric, like if one of them were to take a wrong step… all hell would break loose. Or was he just hallucinating?

The search was beginning to get frustrating. How could there have been no studies done on such a phenomenon? Tattoos of this sort had been around for centuries, so how had there been no observations recorded of one turning grey? The sheer thought of being completely unique not only amazed him, but also made him terrified. There are two sides to the internet after all. The side that is loving and respecting of one another, the side that he first met Phil from. But then there was the other side. The side full of homophobic idiots with no right to own access to the internet, people that bully each other into submission.

Which side would find their issue first? Was there any way of telling for certain? No… but Dan was prepared to take risks.

"Phil, wouldn't it be easier if we just contacted someone else to help us with all of this? It doesn't have to everyone, just enough to try understand this or wha-"

"Dan don't you understand? We can't go public with this! We could be seen as freaks! Over a decade of hard work building our personas, down the drain! Do you want that Dan!"

Dan visibly flinched. You could sense the tension in the air, see the fear in his eyes.

 _Why did I snap like that?_

"Dan, I'm sor-"

"No. Phil I understand. If you don't want my input. I won't give it to you. Now… I just need a walk."

Phil leapt towards his friend and grabbed onto his wrist tightly. "No! I'm not going to let you walk out on me again! Please. I promise I won't snap out again."

"Too little too late Philly. Now, just let me take a walk. Please."

The pain in his eyes was terribly obvious, shattering Phil's heart to pieces. Why was he forced to see that look in his eyes so frequently lately? He missed the days when they could just lay on the couch and binge watch until unholy hours in the morning, the jokes, the bants… what happened? What happened to their lives to destroy everything he loved?

 _The damn tattoo. That's what._

"Fine. Just… please come back. Don't be too long. I'd miss you."

With that last bit, Dan's expression seemed to soften a little, looking down to his friend and giving him a faint smile.

"Trust me. I won't be long, ok?" After that, he simply turned around and left, closing the door gently behind him. At least he didn't leave on an argument.

But Phil wasn't ready to give up just yet.

He knew his friend too well. Dan wouldn't be back until he was completely cooled down…. and god knows how long that'll take. Maybe it'd be better to text him. Then he could talk to Phil when he was ready to, not just because he was forced into it.

" _I hope this works…"_

Phil pulled out his phone and scrolled through the contacts, finding the one labeled "Rat." Just glancing at it made him chuckle. Even in contacts they couldn't stop making fun of each other. Tapping on the icon and into messages, Phil took another deep breath. How is he going to start this off?

Maybe with a casual, "Hey whatcha up to?" Yeah no. He KNEW what he was up to.

Straight to the point with, "Dan, why'd you walk off?" No, that wouldn't work either.

He's obviously overthinking this. Dan's his best friend, surely he would understand that he's worried about him… right?

' _ **Phil: Hey, Dan, you ok? Sorry about what I said earlier, can you wait for me outside?'**_

Read. But no response. Typical Dan. He NEVER responds to messages, much less when he literally just walked out the front door.

" _Why am I even worried anyway? He probably just went to Starbucks or something, he'll be back soon."_

 _But what if he wasn't?_

' _ **Phil: Sorry for bothering you again…. but can you meet me outside? I miss you. We can just ask someone else about all this, how does that sound? Get a little weight off our shoulders.'**_

Read. But no response. Phil doesn't know what he expected, but to be left on read was certainly not it. But his nerves were becoming too much. If Dan wasn't going to _let_ him bring him back, then he'd just have to do it himself. Peaceful force never hurt anyone.

Dan wasn't even sure where he was going. He just wanted to… wander. Get his mind off everything. But the more and more he thought about Phil, thought about home… the more he wished he could just sleep. Sleep away his mind. Sleep away his life.

 _ **Buzz buzz**_

" _I've only been gone 5 minutes and I'm already being bombarded with notifications? I guess this is what I get for not putting my phone on vibrate."_

Dan pulled his phone out of his sweatshirt pocket and turned it on, the bright screen causing him to hiss playfully. After the brief moment of waiting for his eyes to adjust, he scanned the screen, looking for any new notifications.

' _ **IMessage: Philsy'**_

" _Why would Phil be texting me? Well, I guess there's only one way to find out."_

Dan sighed and clicked on the notification, fingerprinting his way into the phone.

' _ **Phil: Hey, Dan, you ok? Sorry about what I said earlier, can you wait for me outside?'**_

What he wanted to say? "Phil, I'm sorry too for storming off. I'll come back in a minute, do you want anything while I'm out?" What he did say? Nothing. Nothing at all. It was like his brain was in total shock, all thoughts of his future clouding his mind. But one thought in particular sent shivers down his spine, only bringing up more questions.

 _Did the tattoo already know this was going to happen?_

 _ **Buzz. buzz**_

' _ **Phil: Sorry for bothering you again…. but can you meet me outside? I miss you. We can just ask someone else about all this, how does that sound? Get a little weight off our shoulders.'**_

He couldn't take this anymore. He could feel the worry seeping from the words on his phone screen. He knew Phil meant well. He knew that he wanted to see his friend again. He knew he wanted to sit with Phil on the couch again, just like old times. He knew he wanted Phil to cradle him in his arms and tell him everything was going to be alright. He knew he wanted everything to be normal again.

 _But he knew that that wouldn't happen._

 _Not for a long time._

He needed to clear his head. He needed time to think everything over. Dan didn't want to panic his friend anymore, so he took a deep breath. Standing on the edge of the pavement and the road, the man pulled out his phone and turned it on.

" _Phil deserves an explanation. I'll be back soon. I wasn't angry. I was just overreacting."_

The air seemed to still in that moment. It was like the world had begun to move in slow motion, the breeze being the only sign time was still passing. As Dan slowly began to type out his response, he didn't realize he had begun unconsciously to move forward. He heard the swurve of tires on cracked asphalt. He heard the deafening screams and sobs from Phil close behind him. And then everything in his world went black.


	4. Chapter 4 - Nightmare

Dan gasped deeply, shooting up from his spot on the ground and looking around wildly. Where had he gone? What happened? Where was Phil?

His surroundings now coming into a blurry sort of focus, the man began to calm himself down slightly. Deep breaths. He slowly checked every part of his body for wounds, finding none. Was everything just a dream? But if it was just a dream all along, then why did it seem so real?

The entirety of the surrounding area was covered in trees, beams of pale sunlight coming down through the gaps in the overbrush. Small animals ran past him with glee, bringing a sort of overall calmness to the entire area. Dan took another deep breath, laying back down on the grass and closing his eyes, his curly hair falling over his closed eyelids. For the first time in his life, he felt completely calm.

But then his mind began to race. Where was the city? How did he get here? The last thing he remembered was being out in the street, standing by the streetside. He didn't remember feeling anything, just the sight of his entire world going black, even sounds seeming to be distant in that moment. A scream and a screech. The last bits of memory he had before everything went blank.

Was this it then? Was this heaven? It wasn't really what he imagined it to be. He envisioned someplace distant and up in the clouds, somewhere beyond even the brightest of imaginations. He had always joked that he would end up in hell, and after a while, he started to believe it. But deep down inside Dan knew he was a good person, or at least better than a good amount of others, and that thought by itself gave him peace. Maybe he really did make it here. He could finally rest.

But what about Phil? Dan furrowed his eyebrows in worry, his mind beginning to run faster and faster. Would he really never be able to see his best friend again? Suddenly his breaths became unsteady, almost as if his entire world was collapsing around him. What about his YouTube channel? Did they notice his disappearance? How long had he been out? Would he ever be back? Was he…

 _ **dead?**_

Suddenly Dan shot up from his position, almost like waking up from a nightmare. The once peaceful landscape was now significantly darker, the light only coming from a single source: a tree. The tree was shining a bright shade of white on a dark landscape, swirls of grey flying around it in a seemingly random pattern. The sight would have been almost beautiful if he hadn't realised the coincidence; the vision before him was the exact same one he had seen for years on his arm. His tattoo.

The image appeared a lot less ominous in person than it did on such a small scale, the very aura drawing him towards it. The curly haired man slowly fumbled towards it until he could nearly touch the trunk, the swirls dancing around him like wind on a cold autumn's day. The bark of the tree seemed to glow and shimmer, but only slightly, leaving him dazed. But then he saw something else. Or rather, _someone._

There, beside the trunk to it's right, was a faint figure. The silhouette was tall, around his height, but slightly shorter. The coloring of the person before him was a pale yellow, radiating a sort of happiness and sunshine that this world had seemed to have forgotten. It was only then when the realisation hit him.

That figure was Phil.

Dan reached out to him, trying to find his hand. Tears had started to fall without him realising as he got closer and closer to it, his vision getting even more blurry. All he wanted was to see his friend again. But then suddenly, as he grabbed again desperately for his friend's outstretched hand, his vision went dark again. He was panicking. He was dead. He was dead. He was dead.

 _Only then, did he wake up._

Phil hadn't slept since it had happened. In the waiting room of the hospital he sat, waiting for someone to tell him he could go in to see his friend. He had seen it happen. He walked out his front door, only to be met with the sight of Dan standing on a curve. Phil had seen it coming. He had started to run. But despite it all, Dan just stood still, completely oblivious to what was happening around him. Phil was screaming, tears falling from his eyes as he tried to stop the inevitable. But he was too late. He watched as his friend flew across the pavement, Phil approaching him with wobbly knees. He saw the life drain from his eyes as he was taken away into the ambulance, convincing the paramedics to let him ride in it with him. And lastly, he saw as he was taken into emergency care, leaving him to wait. And there he still sat.

 _Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

He knew his friend was in stable condition. Car injuries happened all the time after all, the procedure should be relatively simple. But that fact didn't make the constant playback any less terrifying. His brain wouldn't stop replaying the events of the previous evening. Running. Impact. Limp. Lifeless. Phil could normally manage to make every situation jovial and positive, but this was one circumstance that even he could not fix. All he could do was wait.

 _Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

Lost in thought, the man felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. Reflexes having shot his eyes open, he jerked his head off to the side to see what was the matter, relaxing again sheer moments later: it was just a nurse.

"Mr. Lester, your friend is awake. And, well, he's asking for you. You can head in if you're ready, we'll give the two of you some privacy."

Phil immediately shot up and followed the nurse into the room down the hall, trying to keep himself from bouncing with excitement. He would get to see his friend again. He was ok. The nurse fiddled with the lock on the door, creaking it open painfully slow. His mood then immediately fell.

Dan had his right leg and arm wrapped up casts, his leg being elevated with a sling. However, despite everything, upon him entering the room, Dan's face lit up with excitement, just like a kid on Christmas Day. Small tear tracks that had appeared on his face now seemed even smaller underneath the gigantic smile on his face, the look just emanating relief and happiness.

"Phil! Oh my god, I'm so glad to see you. I never thought I'd see you again, and I thought I was dead, and maybe you forgot about me, and…."

He was cut off by a gentle hug from his friend, dusting his cheeks with a rosy tint. Dan hugged back with his left arm, more tears falling, but this time, from happiness.

"God Dan, didn't realise you were such a crybaby. Can't believe I'm even friends with you." Phil remarked sarcastically, giving him a sideways smirk.

"Well at least I don't suck ass at Mario Kart."

"Well at least I'm not the hypocrite that complained for DAYS about MY 'all or nothing' calls, but then made one himself."

"But you accepted it. What point are you trying to make here, Lester."

The two stared at each other 'angrily' for a second before breaking out into laughter, Phil falling back into the chair beside his bed. They cackled for at least a minute before finally calming down, Dan leaning his head back on the bed frame.

"It's good to have you back, Dan. I don't know what I would have done without you."

"I'll tell you what. You would have explained to the others about what happened, grieve for a year, and then forget about me and move on with your life. That's how the cookie crumbles."

Phil waited for him to chuckle at the end of saying such a thing, but he seemed serious. He gave his friend a shocked and confused expression, scooching his chair closer to the bed so he was nearly face to face with his friend. Dan looked like he was about to continue, but Phil put a finger to his lips, shutting him up.

"Dan, what are you talking about? I would never forget you, and neither would anyone else. You've been my best friend for 9 years Dan, and you've been a lot of people's idols for about that long as well. You mean a lot to a lot of people, but especially me. You just made me laugh longer and more genuinely than I have in a while, and you just got out of a mini injury coma. If that doesn't say anything about how amazing you are, I don't know what will."

Dan looked completely in shock. His face was now dusted with an even darker shade of pink, the sight bringing a smile to the other's cheeks. At least he could do one thing right, and that was to make other people feel good about themselves. And in the end, that's what matters most, right?

"Hey, Phil?"

"Yeah?"

"When I was in my mini coma, like when I was in the ambulance, did I say anything? Just out of curiosity."

The question caught him off guard, but he answered honestly anyway. Did Dan say anything? He reached back to that moment, shivering at the thought of having to relive it again. But at least this time, he had a reason to. As he replayed the same events then again, the thought hit him.

"Yeah actually you did. Something along the lines of 'remember the tattoo, remember the change.' What is that, a song you're working on or what? Cause it sucks."

"Honestly, I have no idea. Just wondering, ya know?"

"Weird."

And so the duo sat there and pondered the lines in comfortable silence for a while, so deep in thought in fact, they didn't notice the nurse walking in and telling Phil to leave. He didn't want to. He just wanted to stay by his friend's side and think.

"Remember the tattoo. Remember the change."


	5. Chapter 5 - Pink

It had been a good couple days since Phil's last visit. Dan still wasn't allowed out of the hospital yet, but at least he was allowed his phone to keep him company. He didn't really know what was going on completely, but at least he could finally tell his audience what (the quiznak) was going on. Ever since he had been admitted to the hospital, or just in general dropped off the face of the internet, millions and millions of people seemed to be going on a international manhunt in order to find him. He imagined it had turned into more of a wild goose chase by now.

Some theorized that he was too busy hanging out with Phil to go on social media. Others thought about a new, huge project coming up. And of course the conspiracy theorists just thought he died. For once, the crazies were actually the closest to the truth. He had been thinking it over for a while now, thinking about what kind of media was best to get the needed information out there. Instagram was a big no, people would expect pictures. Tumblr? Too casual a site. He would make a video, but that would have to wait until he at least got out of the damn hospital bed.

Twitter it was then.

Dan sunk into his sheets at the thought of typing out something so sincere, his now messy curls falling over his forehead. What if the community didn't take it seriously? He slid down farther. What if people forgot about him, because he's been gone too long? He slid down even more. What if his fans decided to leave him in the dust, because it was obvious he wouldn't be back for a while? He was now flat on his back, his leg starting to hurt slightly from being at such a weird angle. He quickly slid back up the frame of the bed, prompting a shock of pain to shoot up his arm. This caused him to bite his lip to try and prevent the small squeal from escaping his mouth, but it didn't work. Luckily nobody was around to hear him.

He took a deep breath. Maybe typing out a tweet would help clear his mind. Get him away from thinking about the negatives of his situation and try to look forward at the positives. Yeah, that wasn't going to work. But he at least had to try.

" _Hey guys, sorry for being gone for so long. I had something pretty bad happen to me the other day, and now I've been hospitalized. I'll go into more depth in my next video, but until then, be patient! It won't be long before I'm back together again, so I'll update then. Bye!"_

Dan knew he was barely giving the event any justice by saying "something pretty bad," but it was the best he was going to get with one free hand and a lack of patience. He laid down his phone on his chest and took another deep breath, closing his eyes. At the very least, time in this bed would give time to think. In fact, nothing but time.

His mind drifted off in a million different directions at once, but he somehow managed to focus down on one memory in particular. His dream. The events slowly replayed themselves over and over again in his head, each time just bringing up more and more questions. Most of which about the end. Was the tree and Phil meant to be taken literally, or symbolically? His first instinct told him the latter, which would bring him more towards thinking about his tattoo. But why now? He had had the tattoo all his life, or at least as long as he could remember.

" _But before he hadn't found the person he shared it with."_

His mind brought up an interesting point. If everything in that dream was meant to be taken symbolically, then why was Phil yellow? After all, if he was meant to represent his relationship with the tattoo, he would be grey. Right?

The entire situation was hurting his brain, but there was no way of stopping now. After all, what better things did he have to be doing? Nothing. That's the correct answer to that question.

So he thought about it a bit more. What was yellow meant to symbolize? Joy, happiness, optimism, imagination, hope, sunshine, summer, warmth... maybe his brain chose yellow because it was the color that represented him best. Each adjective seemed to describe Phil perfectly after all. He was gentle and compassionate, kind and happy. He always seemed to have something up his sleeve to make everyone around him smile, his endless amount of creativity and optimism practically making the sun shine from his pearly white smile. The world was calmer, warmer with Phil. And a world without him was a world that Dan would never want to live in again.

Suddenly, something strange started to happen. Again. Out of the corner of his closed eyes, he began to see a little flashing light. The light was slow at first, but quickly began to ramp up, turning into a sort of natural strobe light. Dan immediately flew his eyes open in shock, ignoring the pain from his injured limbs from the sudden movement. The light seemed to be emitting from his upper arm, Dan then squinting his eyes to try and focus on it. Of course it was the tattoo.

Dan thought about yelling for help, but stopped himself. He had made a deal with Phil to not tell ANYONE about the state of their marks, and he wasn't about to break that promise now. He instead sat frozen as the outline of his mark flickered and changed like a Mario Party block, his eyes following it as if they belonged to a confused puppy. It then began to slow down again, the light dying down to a light shimmer. And then everything stopped.

 _ **Pink. His outline was now pink.**_

His mind flew back to color symbolism and the meaning behind them. Black was meant to signify something bad, white something good. Grey was a neutral color, yellow being joy and sunshine. Red was an angry and passionate color, blue being a calming and intelligent one.

So what did pink symbolize?

 **Love** _ **.**_

Phil was pacing again. For the third time in one day. His mind just wouldn't shut down. He had wanted to visit Dan again, wanted to tell him that everything would be ok, that everything would be fine again once he was out of that hellhole.

But even he knew he was full of lies.

He wanted more than anything for that to be true, but he knew that nothing would really be "normal" again until they figured out how to deal with their tattoos. The thing that had single-handedly destroyed their lives, threw them out the window, and stomped on them. Or perhaps "run them over" would be more appropriate.

Phil stood at the side of the couch for a moment before collapsing face first onto it, groaning heavily. What was he going to do?

 _Buzz buzz._

Phil immediately flipped back over and pulled out his phone from his sweatshirt pocket, blowing his hair out of his face. It was a twitter notification from Dan. Well, at least some things never change. Dan couldn't get off his media for longer than a couple days even if he tried. The man read over the tweet a couple times over, scrolling through comments below it. None of them had any responses to them yet, or at least from Dan, so he took it upon himself to answer them instead.

Most of them went along the same way: "OMG ARE YOU OK? ARE YOU GOING TO BACK SOON? WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE'S PHIL?" Obviously some were a lot less dramatic, but could you really blame them? They had just found out their idol was hospitalized for "something pretty bad" and they won't even know what happened for sure until he heals up. And they don't even know how long that will be. For all they know the tweet was typed by the nurse and the real Dan was in a coma. Nothing could really be confirmed or denied until one of them spoke up.

It was even already marked as a twitter moment. It had been up for 5 minutes and it was already broadcasted to the whole world. Now that was impressive.

Phil's response was generally cookie-cutter, but it was better than nothing. "Dan is going to be ok and back real soon! Don't worry your little heads about it, I'm sure he'll be back up on his feet in no time! Nothing too serious after all :)" with a bit of alterations here and there. Was it all lies? Probably. Would he change that? Not a chance.

His mind drifted back to what Dan had said to him in that ambulance. Dan's mind would have been too fried to have the words come willingly, so what was so important about that phrase that his mouth forced it out?

 _"_ _Remember the tattoo. Remember the change."_

The phrase in general seemed pretty straight forward. The tattoo was obviously referring to the tattoo they shared, the change the mysterious color change of their outlines. Maybe this was supposed to be a hint? But how? Phil groaned again loudly, slamming his head against the couch in frustration. Maybe it was time to focus on something else for a change.

Phil got up from his spot on the couch and stretched, fixing his hair into the usual quiff. Maybe it was time to start being normal again. The man walked over to the kitchen and opened the cabinet, grabbing a box of cereal. He mindlessly finished the rest of the morning ritual, his thoughts drifting off to different places as he slowly shoveled cereal into his mouth.

The day had been going by slowly today. It wasn't even noon yet. Birds still quietly chirped outside their apartment window, the occasional one ramming itself into the glass. Cars flew by on the roads below, angry drivers trying their best to suppress their frustrations on their way to work. Clouds floated by in all their fluffy glory, causing Phil to let out a gentle sigh. For once, the world seemed to be at peace.

His mind floated back to Dan. He wondered what he was up to. Phil got lost in thought as he imagined his friend lying on his bed, bored out of his mind, scrolling through tumblr mindlessly. He imagined that his curly mop would be nearly covering his eyes from him going so long without a haircut, a sight that never failed to bring a smile to his friends and fans' faces. He imagined the way his face lit up with excitement every time he walked into the room, giggling at random memes as he instinctively showed them to Phil from across the room. His laugh was contagious.

As he laid his head down on the table and drifted off, his mind filled with calming and happy thoughts, he didn't even notice when his tattoo began to glow and flash. It blinked between colors faster and faster, the outline almost appearing to swirl. But then suddenly, it was still. Absolutely still.

 _ **Pink. His outline was now pink.**_


	6. Chapter 6 - Home

_**A/N: I'm finally back in action! Sorry for making you wait so long for my lazy ass, but I swear I'll start getting on the writing grind all over again from today onward! I moved house, got some new kitties, named 'em after Voltron characters... it's been a roller coaster. But more appropriately, I've just been unmotivated.**_

 _ **But now that that's all out of the way, let's get back to the chapter!**_

 _ **Pink.**_

Dan couldn't stop staring at it. He had never felt this way about anything before. He wasn't afraid. Just extremely curious, to a point that his mind had become completely clouded. He looked like a cat to a faucet or a dog to it's reflection. Completely and utterly fascinated.

Phil was scheduled to visit today, or at least that's what he said last time they had talked. Time had been blurring together a lot lately, it didn't even feel like he was living anymore. They had been texting a lot, being that Phil hadn't had the energy to move out of the house lately. Dan didn't really care all that much, but that didn't change the fact that he was lonely. So incredibly lonely.

No matter how many times he tried to get his mind off the tattoo, not even the endless amount of support from their communities could prevent it from penetrating his thoughts. Love could mean a lot of things really. Love could be platonic or romantic. Love could be a deep care for someone close to you. Love could be your soulmate, or best mate at that. But some little voice in the back of his head told Dan that love in this circumstance meant all of the above.

His injuries had been getting better. The nurses assigned to take care of him kept saying that he would be "out and better than ever any day now," a thought that still failed to bring back his dimpled smile. The only things that kept him sane these days were the plans he made for when he got out of bed again. He be able to update their fan base on what had REALLY happened to him, release videos on his normal bi-monthly schedule, and then everything would be right as rain. Or at least he hoped so.

He thought back again to what had gotten him here in the first place. That damn tattoo. He never wanted to see it again, never wanted to speak of it or even mention it for the rest of his days. But it's not like he had a choice. The aura from around the symbol seemed to draw him towards it, forcing him to think about it day and night as it slowly, internally, tore him to shreds. Everything around him seemed to fade into black as he stared at it day after day, the sight driving him half to insanity.

 _What did it mean?_

But it didn't have to be that way. He knew very well that the constant changing of the tattoo had to mean the event was soon upon them. The climax of both Phil and his stories' were upon them, leaving them to count down the days until something that could change their whole lives for the better or worse. He did have hope though. After all, lighter colors signified the good things in life, and pink was certainly a bright color. If all remained according to plan, then everything in the lives of Dan and Phil might just get a little bit sweeter. Or at least he hoped.

Dan's thoughts drifted away for a moment into a different section of his mind: one specially reserved for Phil. Phil had been an important part of Dan's life, quite possibly the most important, for almost a decade now. He meant the world to him, and would do anything to keep him safe and happy. Phil was his sunshine. His endless sunshine. And he had come the closest to putting out that light.

" _He must feel so guilty."_ Dan thought to himself, a horrified expression trailing it's way across his cheeks.

Phil shouldn't have to hold himself accountable for Dan's stupid actions. An argument, especially as light as one as they had had, didn't deserve the sort of reaction he had left his friend with. He had walked out that door with no regard for his friend's feelings. And he felt terrible about it. The curly haired man slid down in his covers, allowing tears to silently stream down his pale face. The way his body hurt was nothing compared to what he felt inside.

Voices called out in his mind from all different angles, only causing more tears to fall onto his steril white sheets.

 _Useless_

 _Meaningless_

 _Burden_

 _Forgettable_

The words are what he feared the most. Lost in his own thoughts, Phil appeared in front of him. The same insults screamed at him over and over, the time through his mouth. Dan's heart broke in two. He felt broken. His stained glass pane of a life was shattered on the ground before him, tears trickling around the edges. Void replaced the sunshine and darkness replaced the light. He knew he was still in the hospital, but he was in his own little world. Floating in his mind like an astronaut in space. But he had lost his helmet.

Forgetting where he was for a moment, he reached his right arm up to touch his face. He instantly regretted it. He unconsciously screamed out in agony, the inky landscape fading away. He was back in his bed, pools of sadness now soaking the sheets below him. He looked around cautiously, trying to come up with some sort of excuse as to why he was in his current condition. After all, he was supposed to be getting better. What was he supposed to tell everyone when they found out he wasn't?

Surprisingly enough, after waiting nervously for someone to check up on him, nobody came. Maybe he really was just a screw up. So unimportant to the universe that not even a nurse could bother to care. A deep sigh escaped his lips. He closed his again, opening them soon after. He was again back in the only land, gliding through the water-like substance. The action felt almost calming, distracting him briefly from the horrors of the real world. Maybe he could just stay here forever. A place with no tattoos, no cares, no work. Maybe this could be his new reality.

It almost felt like a dream. A place where problems didn't exist, no injuries, no pain. But yet, Dan still felt like screaming. He wanted everything to be back to normal. He wanted to see Phil. He wanted to see his fans. The more he thought about what he had lost, the more empty he felt. Suddenly, his breathing began to quicken. The voices in his head returned, the banshees and sirens screeching loud enough to make his ears ring.

 _Worthless_

 _Worthless_

 _Worthless_

Dan was shaking wildly, tears starting to unconsciously fall.

 _Useless_

 _Useless_

 _Useless_

Dan turned onto his side and started whimpering, praying for the voices to leave him alone.

" _DAN!"_

" _DAN!"_

He could recognize the voice but he didn't know from where. Where was that voice coming from? The void of his mindscape gave no answer.

" _DAN! Please wake up. Please please please."_

The curls on his head perked up with confusion, same as himself. Who was talking to him? Was he even real?

 _He could hear crying._

Suddenly, Dan gasped deeply and his eyes flew open. He was back to reality. The inky landscape dissolved once more, leaving him to his cold and emotionless hospital room. Well, almost. As he looked around his room, he heard the same voice he had heard before, but now he could identify it.

 _Phil._

His best friend was kneeling by his bedside, small incomprehensible whispers coming from him. The sheets all around him were drenched in salty tears, more still falling from his beautiful, glassy eyes. Only half of them were his own. Dan was about to reach over to shake him, but stopped himself. He had caused this man pain. The man of his dreams, his best mate, his soulmate, his _true love…._ was crying over him.

 _He didn't even deserve any of this to begin with._

Without thinking, he let out a sigh, causing Phil to poke his head up from the cradle he had created with his arms.

Phil's eyes lit up like fairy lights, launching himself at Dan softly. He hugged him close to his chest, careful to avoid the casts surrounding his friend's limbs. Tears still poured from his eyes, making his cheeks sparkle in the dull LED light. Dan didn't dare to move, scared he would ruin such an intimate moment by doing so. The two simply laid there for a while, moments blurring together for who knows how long. Time seemed to simultaneously speed up and slow down, the tears drying up on both of their faces. Dan felt at peace.

Suddenly, Phil began to pull away. Dan couldn't help but be disappointed from the break of contact. After all, Phil was a good cuddler.

"Why did you leave me Dan?"

Phil's voice sounded so innocent and pure, it caught Dan completely off guard. He tilted his head off to the side in confusion before responding.

"What do you mean? I'm right here!"

Phil looked surprised all the sudden, his eyes going wide as a deer in headlights. "You seriously don't know?" Dan nodded his head, suddenly becoming very worried. He started to shake slightly, the weight of the situation certainly not seeming to be as minor as he had first assumed.

" _Dan, you've been out for the whole week."_

Dan froze. His world seemed to turn upside down.

 _But everything seemed so real?_

He didn't know what to say. Was he supposed to comfort Phil? But what would he even say? There wasn't really anything that he could say to Phil to make him feel better. He could only sit there helplessly as his friend looked at him in awe, amazed that his friend had cheated death for the second time in the last month.

"You've really gotta stop doing this Dan. I thought I lost you twice this month man, and that is WAY too many times for my lifetime. Buuuut, there is some good news to come from all this hullabaloo. While you will still have to be in the casts, and have a certain little someone named Phil take care of you for a few months, you can go home tomorrow! I guess laying comatose while you recover does have its perks!"

Phil's smile glimmered like the sun, causing Dan to instinctively flash him a grin with the same happiness. He felt at home with Phil, like a constant warm hug from a person wearing a soft fuzzy sweater. The feeling was like being cuddled by a million puppies under the setting sun. Golden rays would shine over his lightly tanned skin as his curls bounced up and down in the wind, calm settling over the environment.

Now imagine that feeling.

 _And multiply it by fifty._

"Well isn't that just swell! Now I can have the joy of updating all our crazy fangirls over the fact that my videos with be clouded with a giant blue cast for a couple months." Dan shot back gently, a smirk dancing across his face as he laced the sentence with sarcasm. It felt good to be his old self again.

His friend's laugh filled the room, making it feel a step closer to not feeling like the prison it really was. One more day and it would all be over and done with. One more day.

Suddenly, the raven haired boy's laugh turned to a light chuckle, before coming to a full abrupt stop. A look of worry replaced his joy, the change causing an identical expression to settle upon the face of the other.

"You remember what got us here in the first place right?"

Dan only nodded his head in response, knowing exactly what was coming next. "Well, there's been a couple more changes lately, so I'm guessing yours has changed as well?" Another nod. "I still don't know if we should make this whole matter completely public, but I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you never get hurt again Dan. I can't lose you again."

Phil gently stretched his arms around his friend once more, tightly squeezing him with all the love left inside of him. "Promise me you'll never leave me again Dan. You know I can't live without you. You're my everything."

Dan wrapped his free hand back around his friend, accepting the embrace. Phil's comments caught him off guard, his heart fluttering at his choice of words. Why did he have to settle for such a thing? And why did the sheer thought of him saying it make him al tingly inside? Was this normal?

" _You're my everything."_

Ok. Maybe the love he felt for his best friend wasn't as platonic as he thought.


	7. Chapter 7 - Vent

After laying dormant in his assigned room for a couple hours the following morning, it was finally time. Time for him to go back home. Leave behind the boring, bland walls and replace them with the vibrant and cozy furniture of their apartment. Sure the place wasn't perfect, but it was where Phil was. Where he belonged. And that's all that mattered.

He didn't really know how the the whole procedure was to work, after all, it had been quite a while since he had had to visit the hospital. He would have liked to keep it that way, but he supposed fate had other plans. Not really knowing exactly what to do, Dan just waited in his bed, sitting upright, watching the clock tick on by. The man wasn't really sure what he was waiting for, but he just hoped that whatever it was, it would come soon.

 _Knock knock._

He leapt up in surprise and glee, the numbness of his broken limbs feeling awkward alongside the others. Dan checked the time on his phone next to him: 12:55 pm. While he didn't really know for sure who was at the door, he was nearly certain it was someone that could take him back to his lovely apartment. So, with nothing but excitement littering his tone, he yelled fondly at the door, "Come in!"

Just as he had expected, Phil stood in the doorway, a handful of pink roses in his left hand. His other hand had a small balloon reading "ready to come home, dan?" in stick on letters. Dan wondered how long it took him to make the message look just right.

"Early afternoon Danny! How are you feeling?" Phil asked as he slid to his friend's bedside, putting the roses in a vase on the table next to the bed.

"I'm feeling great actually! My limbs are too numb to feel anything anyway, so I guess that's the biggest plus I'm gonna get on that end of things. How about you?"

Dan wasn't at all lying about how he felt, for the first time in a long time. The simple presence of his friend made even a place this gloomy feel cozy, and that was the greatest gift he could ever ask for.

Phil almost looked nervous, the slightest tint of rose tinting his pale white cheeks as he rubbed the side of his arm. But Dan shook off the thought and gave him a big grin, tinting his head off to the side in curiosity, begging him silently to answer.

"Well I've been trying real hard lately to get everything ready for when you finally came back! You could ask any of my houseplants and they'll tell you the same thing! The place looks even nicer than when we first got it! I can't wait for you to see it."

"How can I ask them if they're dead?" Dan asked with a sort of fake innocence, his voice laced with mischief.

Phil simply snorted in response. "Well, that's another thing actually. My plants are doing fine ever since you left. Maybe you were infecting them with your negative energy."

The two glared at each other angrily for a second before bursting out into laughter, Phil doubling over onto the floor. Dan collapsed back into the sheets of the bed, his cackles bouncing off the walls and down the halls. The nurse just outside his door, about to walk in, just smiled and let out a small giggle, walking away. Maybe it was best to let the two have a moment on their own.

After a solid minute of laughter, Phil still laid flat on the floor like a starfish, dirt now covering the backs of his black skinny jeans. The two fell into a comfortable silence, wide smiles across both of their faces. It had been a while since they had shared a moment like that together. With everything going on recently, it was nearly impossible to find time for the banter they were used to. The sheer thought of feeling like this everyday all over again only made the happiness shine brighter inside the brunette's mind, the sun giving life to a new era.

Phil stood up again and stretched, brushing his hair back into the usual quiff. After fiddling with it for a few seconds, he made his way over to the bed, plopping down next to his friend. Dan moved over a bit to make room for him to sit semi-comfortably, contently snuggling into the warmth of his hoodie. In his tiredness, the younger man weakly wrapped his arms around his friend's and moved slightly closer, resting his head on his shoulder. Mere moments afterward, he fell asleep.

The ravenette had been watching him in awe, unaware of the slight blush now flushing over him. Messy curls now tickling his neck, Phil let out a long sigh. What did he ever do to deserve someone so perfect? Sure the duo didn't get along perfectly, but who did? They had as pure of a friendship as it came, and they had a bond stronger than the word could even define. To think a little black and white camera in a cereal box could lead to all this. Maybe this wasn't the dark timeline after all.

 _Knock knock._

Phil was awoken from his thoughts by a soft knock on the door of the room, and then a quiet creaking of an old door. In the doorway stood a uniformed nurse with a clipboard in her hand and a pen behind her ear. Her hair was pulled back tightly except for a few stray strands, those of which framed either side of her face. Her heels clicked on the old tile as she paced towards him, her face contorted into a natural looking smile. She then stopped at the bedside and cleared her throat quietly, knocking him out of his trance.

"You're Phil Lester, correct?" her voice smooth and calm.

Phil nodded his head slightly, afraid he might say something wrong if he voiced his response.

"As your friend seems to be asleep, would you mind filling out these papers for his release from the hospital? It's listed here that you have the same authority as him on the matter."

The man gave her a small smile and a nod, taking the pen and clipboard from her. The nurse pulled a chair from beside the nightstand and sat down, waiting patiently for him to finish. Phil started filling out the papers mindlessly, the pen strokes being the only noise in the room beside the ticking clock. The silence was comfortable, the nurse pulling out her phone as she waited for the man to finish filling out the monotonous work before him. However, as the three sat there in perfect silence, the nurse decided to try and spark up a conversation.

"You two seem very close. How did you two meet?"

Her voice seemed very kind and understanding, so Phil decided to tell the truth, still half focusing on filling out the mindless paperwork.

"Well, Dan and I actually met online, back in 2009. He would follow me on social media and comment on a lot of my content, until we eventually ended up talking over Skype. Dan was 18 at the time and I was 22. It was only really video chats and texting until we finally ended up meeting on October 19th of the same year. Some more time passed and we ended up moving in together. One thing leads to another, and now we're two popular YouTuber soulmates that have lived together for almost a decade."

Phil spoke without really thinking, saying the words as they came. In the time it took him to process what he had just told to the nurse, he handed the nurse back her clipboard with a smile. Her mouth was gaping open in shock, but it only took her a moment to regain her composure. A mischievous glint in her eye appeared as she glanced over at the ravenette again, the words finally processing in his head.

"Well, Mr. Lester, that's quite the life story. Now about the paperwo-"

She was cut off by a deep and long sigh from the man before her, causing her to tilt her head in concern. Putting down her clipboard, she reached a comforting hand over his shoulder and gave him a gentle smile, offering a bit of comfort for whatever was going on in his head. "Are you alright sir?"

"Yeah, it's fine. I've just never really talked about this with a stranger before, ya know? It feels strange to me that you took it so well." The nurse just nodded her head, not acknowledging the slight stirring of the gently dozing man beside the one she was holding a conversation with.

"So obviously, after having that sort of a long relationship with someone, it really hurt when all of this started to unfold. I started to think it was my fault in a way, and that thought tends to come and go. I know it isn't, I really do, but I just wish I could have done something. Dan has really been everything to me for almost a decade, and I have no idea what I would do without him. He's my stability and I'm his…. and that means a lot." He took a breath. "People tend to say we're soulmates ya know? And honestly I can't really deny that. We fit together like puzzle pieces and barely ever leave each other's side. People tend to think that a connection like that couldn't possibly be platonic right?" He paused. "Well, I wouldn't mind either way, but the real answer is that I have no idea." Another breath. "Well, I'll stop ranting now. Sorry if I delayed the release a bit, I just haven't had anyone to talk to in a while. Especially about something like this. Thanks for being my makeshift therapist."

It was clear that the nurse had no idea how to follow that up. She wasn't trained to know how to deal with this. She tried to mask her confusion by having a smile supporting smile on her face, once again choosing not to acknowledge Dan's stirring. That was a conversation she really didn't want to be caught in the middle of. "Well, sir, I'm glad you finally had a chance to get all of that off your chest. You know, maybe it'd be a good idea to talk about this over with Dan? I'm sure he would understand how you felt. In fact, I'm almost certain he feels the exact same!" She giggled into her hand at the last part, now finally picking up her clipboard again. "But now that we're done with all of that, are you ready to get your friend out of here?"

Phil's mood instantly perked up, him practically bouncing with excitement. "Of course!" He went to shake the man next to him, but it appeared that he was already reasonably awake.

Dan stretched slightly, releasing his grip on his friend's arm. With a yawn and a shaking of his free leg, he finally spoke up. "I'm ready whenever you are. But one more question before we get out of here. Will I have to use a wheelchair for the 7 weeks or will crutches be fine?"

The nurse stood up from her chair and reached her hand out to Phil, helping him up off the bed. "While I would recommend a wheelchair, it is definitely possible for you to use crutches. It would be a bit awkward still…. but is that what you would prefer?" Dan simply nodded his head.

The nurse walked over to the corner of the room and grabbed a pair of crutches, walking back over to the bed and handing them to Dan. Taking a deep breath, the crippled man stood up. He stumbled at first, but steadied himself on the wall, closing his eyes with focus. With his free hand, he gave a thumbs up.

"Alright cripple, let's get out of here." Phil remarked fondly, walking over to his friend to help him stay steady. The duo then hobbled over to door, Phil opening the door for his friend as he let him pass in front of him. Before turning away, the elder mouthed the words "thank you" to the nurse, her responding with a nod and a smile. It was nice to know there were still good people out there.

Down the halls and through the elevator they went, eventually stopping at the front desk.. After a slightly awkward exchange, Phil was handed a box including the belongings Dan had had on him the night he had been in the crash. He looked at it with an unreadable expression for a moment before thanking the worker and walking off, Dan following close behind. Dan didn't think much of the interaction overall, but couldn't help but be a little bit worried for his friend. The situation was certainly stressful to say the least.

Dan, half leaning on the crutches and half on Phil, made his way into the nearby bathroom, wanting to get changed out of his hospital clothing as quickly as possible. After leading him inside a stall and putting the box down on the ground, Phil took the time to walk back outside the room to clear his head. His mind was swimming with conflicting thoughts and feelings, not knowing how to deal with nearly any of them. The problem of having to deal with their ever changing tattoos still stood, Phil practically biting his fingernails over the inevitable. He had to try his hardest to prevent another argument. Sure, Dan couldn't exactly run away from him this time, but he could certainly refuse his care. Phil knew all too well that his friend was stubborn enough to do such a thing.

He put his hands together and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, allowing his mind to clear and drift. He slid down the wall in his concentration, plopping down on the floor next to the door. He thought back to a time when he was young, something his mother had told him long ago.

" _Life has a way of messing with you. It never wants to just sit down and admit defeat. It'll give you shallow promises and signs that lead to nowhere, good omens that turn out to be bad ones. But always remember. Life also has a way of working itself out. Keep going, and keep staying strong, and eventually things will turn out alright. Even if it wasn't what you were…. Expecting."_

He hadn't thought much of it at the time. His mother was a known skeptic after all. But linking up the situation he was in now to what his mother had said, it all seemed to make sense.

" _I'm overthinking all of this. Dan's my best friend, he wouldn't care about how we handled all of this anyway. Let's just keep going and see what happens. Just like she said, things will work themselv-"_

He was cut off from his thoughts with a jab to his side. Opening his eyes and looking upwards, he saw a well groomed Dan with a huge smile on his face. Phil looked up at him and grinned, not hesitating in the slightest before pushing one of Dan's crutches back slightly. The action caught him completely by surprise, the man losing balance and falling forward. Dan squeaked slightly as he fell, dropping the crutches onto the floor. The troublemaker then extended his arms into the drop zone, catching Dan just before he hit the floor.

The curly-haired man was at a complete loss for words, staring at Phil in disbelief. His chest was heaving wildly, his eyes like a deer in headlights. The crutches now abandoned on the floor, Dan slightly relaxed into his friend's arms, his breathing slowing down to some sort of normal.

"Never. Do. That. Again." Dan breathed out, each word being emphasized due to his breathlessness.

"Hey, you deserved it."

"Touche."

Phil then gently laid his friend down against the wall, standing up and grabbing his crutches. He extended his arm out to Dan's free one.

 _ **"**_ _ **Ready to go home pretty boy?"**_


	8. Chapter 8 - Everything Stays

Dan stumbled into the Uber Phil had ordered for them, the wheels being parked right outside of the hospital exit. Thoughts swarmed him from all directions, some being justified and others being borderline ridiculous. However, instead of focusing on the clear subject at hand, he chose to let his mind wander. His eyes floated to stray leaves on the trees lining the passing roads, them flowing in the wind and down onto the ground below. The sun lingered in the sky, indicating the time was close to midday. Gusts of the crisp autumn breeze hit his face through the open car window, Dan taking a deep breath of the fresh outside air. It felt good to be outside again.

Even though it had been a couple weeks since the man had properly bathed, his curls still refused to be tamed. Their frizziness seemed to have no bounds, stray strands blowing backwards in the wind. People passed by on the street, taking no notice to the jet black car speeding past them. He wondered what was going on in their lives, knowing very well that life did not just stop for the world while he was hospitalized. Even though it had seemed to.

Phil was cuddled up against his left side, using his shoulder as a cushion as he slept. It was quite obvious he hadn't gotten much sleep lately. Pangs of guilt pierced his mind as he glanced back to his slumbering friend, remembering all of the buildup that had led them to the very situation they were currently in. Dan had walked out on his problems, on his life, on his _best friend._ And that was not something that he was proud to admit.

The aspect of the tattoo was simply a test, he now realised. A test to see if someone was going to lay down their entire life thus far for something that they couldn't change. After all…. would he have done any of that if the tattoo DIDN'T exist? The answer: probably not. The relationship that he had with Phil ran deeper than anything he could have ever imagined, and he was going to throw that all away for a couple of stray swirls on a blank canvas?

 _Hell no._

The ride back from the hospital was a pretty sizable amount of time, anywhere from around 30 minutes to an hour depending on traffic. Being that it was somewhere close to lunch time, that travel time was certain to be on the higher end of the spectrum. Dan decided to calm his aching mind instead by surfing through his social medias, an effort that only seemed to make it worse.

Searching up the 'danhowell' tag on tumblr only yielded countless pity posts directed towards him and his condition, instagram and twitter giving much of the same results. Theories of what exactly had happened to him made him giggle, the laughter being a way to cope with a constant wave of guilt he was receiving from reading through all the constant support and positivity. The "Phandom" could not always be counted as a positive place to say the least, but at least it could be noted that some things truly could unite such a diverse amount of people. It was soothing in a way.

Dan took this time to finally write the tweet that the people had been waiting for. He didn't know how to exactly get the message across that he wanted, but he was an internet celebrity after all. People just wanted answers, not the next shakespeare.

Sincere or jokey? All the information or just bits and pieces? Wake up Phil and consult him or just leave his own thoughts? There was an endless amount of ways that he could write down the bad news, as well as the good news, finally deciding to stop overthinking it and just get to writing it down. Maybe he would feel better after he started just typing. So, after taking a long and deep breath of the cool air surrounding him, he put his thumbs to his screen.

He typed and deleted drafts for a good 10 minutes, groaning in frustration at each failed attempt. However, despite the reasonable amount of noise he was making, Phil didn't so much as stir. Finally, after fumbling around for a bit too long on his lackluster explanation, Dan finally settled on the following:

" _hello internet, sorry for keeping you waiting. you all deserve an explanation. three weeks ago today, i got hit with by a car. it swerved trying to avoid a different bad driver, accidentally hitting me in the process. i hold nothing against the person who hit me, as it was clearly accidental. so don't go surfing through records to find them, i know you little shits would do that. the impact left me with my right arm and leg broken, but now that i'm on the road to recovery, expect to see a couple casts in the new videos coming your way. thanks to all of you for being so patient, i'll try to keep as active as I can and answer the important questions you all have for me."_

The tweet ended up getting so long that he had to separate it over multiple tweets, them of course all being in the same thread. He breathed a sigh of relief as he turned off his phone and rested his head against the leather backing of his seat. At least that was one weight off of his chest. He realised he would have to do an instagram post as well, in order to reach the largest amount of his audience members as possible. After all, not every one of his fans had a twitter account to follow him on. To be fair, not every one of his fans followed him on instagram either, but it was the best he was going to get for the time being. A video would have to wait a bit longer.

Sighing once more, the man picked his phone back up from his lap, only to drop it almost immediately. He groaned in frustration and picked the device up in his free hand, swiping up on his home screen to reach his camera. He supposed he would have to get used to only having one hand for a while.

Although he was sure that almost NOBODY would care if he looked like he was dead, he needed to at least try to look normal. Even if it was only for his sake. Positioning his cast into a slightly less than comfortable position, he decided that this was about the best he was going to get, especially for trying to take it in a moving car. As he was about to press the icon to take a picture, he remembered the still sleeping Phil in the seat next to his. At this point he had shifted back to his own seat, his messy hair covering his sleep ridden eyes. He couldn't help the fond smile spreading across his face like butter on very white bread, his dimples appearing on either side of his rosy cheeks.

" _God he's adorable."_

Thoughts such as these barely even surprised him anymore, his weeks in the hospital giving him an unusually long time to think. His thoughts tended to wander at the best of times, but for this instance, he wanted to think about something in particular: his relationship with Phil. After all, he wouldn't have this long a period of nothing to do but think ever again. Or at least he hoped so.

Dan had come to the conclusion that he thought of Phil as more than a friend. He wasn't exactly sure if it was love, but to be fair, what really was love? Was it sexual attraction? Was it feeling a deep connection to someone to a point that you would like to spend the rest of your life with them? Was it the ability to trust someone with your everything and not have to doubt losing them? Was it for said person to be the shining beam of light in your life, through anything and everything? Or was it just all of the above and everything else combined.

Love is subjective, as most things abstract tended to boil down to be. It could be everything, or nothing. Real or fake. All that Dan knew was that whatever he felt for his "friend" was more than he could have ever imagined, especially back in the days of 2009. Who knew that a couple tweets and skype calls could lead to all of this. His mental health had been in a dark place back then, but Phil had pulled him out of the deep and dark ditch that was his mindscape. One day he would escape that hole for good, but for now he just had to keep climbing the rainbow. An ironically fitting metaphor indeed.

As he zoned back into the real world from his brief mental break, he realised his phone had automatically shut off due to how long he had been lost. With a sigh he turned it back on, swiping to his camera and positioning his long arm as far away from his face as he could muster. As the car was currently stuck in traffic, he briefly unbuckled his seat-belt and positioned himself tilted towards Phil. He wanted to capture the full effect of the Uber experience. Giving a weak thumbs up and a smile, he finally snapped the photo, around five for good measure. He then quickly turned himself back into a normal sitting position, rebuckling his seat-belt just as the car began to move again down the highway. Safety first.

With another swipe and a couple clicks he had reached his gallery, picking his favorite out of the photos taken and deciding on the best of the five.

It didn't look like how he had imagined, but it would have to do. After all, his tweet had come out almost ten minutes ago. He better post it soon before people really started to virtual riot. Cracking his knuckles, he tapped the post button and selected the picture, copy and pasting the same thing he said on twitter into the caption. Then quickly, before he could regret it, he posted the image. A wave of relief flowed over him like air conditioning on a hot day, him sliding deep into his chair with a sigh. He switched over to his twitter as he watched the replies consistently flow in. Out of curiosity, he switched tabs to his search bar. Sure enough, 'Dan Howell' was the top trend on twitter already, as well as an increasing amount of the lower ranks. The reaction took him completely by surprise, despite knowing very well the immense enthusiasm of the people that occupied his fandom. The main object of his surprise was the sheer positivity flowing towards him from the mention of his condition. There was an extreme scarcity of the demons that tended to occupy at least a decent percentage of his daily comments and mentions, the small amount of them being shot down by other members of the fandom almost immediately.

He began to tear up from the powerful and meaningful wording of some of the responses, prompting him to have to turn off his phone in order to contain his happiness. It felt good to be appreciated.

With a long stretch and a yawn, Phil unlocked the door to their apartment to let Dan inside, taking mind of his flimsy condition. Over the time in the car, Phil seemed to catch up on at least a small amount of the sleep he had lost, giving his mind an excuse for another full night of caring for his friend's needs instead of his own. The apartment was the same as how he had left it, relatively neat and tidy. An unfolded blanket lay spread across the couch cushions, four vibrantly colored pillows laying on top of them. Their bedroom doors were both swung wide open, Phil's being adorned with an unmade bed and countless articles of clothing scattered across the floor.

Untidy, but it was home.

Dan took in a long deep breath of the familiar environment, the scent of seed and various house plants filling his lungs. The place felt just as homie as he had left it, or at least how he had remembered. The hospital tended to distort old memories.

Without giving it anymore thought, Dan fell backwards onto the couch, flinching at the sudden contact with his leg. He quickly realised that he wouldn't be able to get away with such stunts for a while yet, the caring glare from his friend being enough of an indication. He took a deep sigh and turned to be propping his arm up one of the pillows surrounding him, facing the man now sitting near to his feet. His facial expression was impossible to read, his eyes giving him no help. They almost seemed empty, watching, waiting. The atmosphere was somewhere between comfy and scarily quiet, neither boy daring to move or even squeak a word.

Not wanting to disturb Phil's train of thought, Dan picked up his phone, ready to scroll through more heart wrenching comments from his deprived fans. However, before he could swipe to unlock it, another hand grabbed the top of Dan's phone and pulled, it slipping smoothly out of his loose grip. Dan tried to make a cheery retort, but his words got caught in his throat as he looked up at his friend's face. His once soft and gentle features had retorted into ones of worry and anger, the emotions switching back and forth like a forever flipping coin.

"We need to talk."

The words almost seemed to bring the room's temperature down a few degrees, the once cozy atmosphere now becoming nearly unbearable. The air felt thicker with anguish as Dan silently gulped and gave a small half smile back at his mate.

"What about?"

Phil features began to soften slightly at the edges, as if his mask of maturity was slowly fading into the quantum abyss. Dan knew it wouldn't last long.

"Well… about everything. I still feel bad you know? I shouldn't have said what I said, I knew that as soon as you walked out the door. I know that you wouldn't hate me, but I don't see why you shouldn't. If I hadn't said those things… maybe I…. maybe…."

Phil paused for a moment, trying to piece his words together. Under his breath, in a tone just above a whisper, he slurred "maybe I could have saved you."

The room fell into an even more eerie silence, the sounds of screaming children and brushing leaves being the only echoes through the empty flat. The corners of Phil's eyes glittered slightly in the dim light, bringing Dan to a realisation he should have seen coming: Phil was crying.

Taking a deep internal sigh, Dan slid his legs off the couch, ignoring the stinging pain in his right leg from the action. Limping over towards the other side of the sofa, the man flopped down next to his friend and gave him a soft smile. Without another moment's hesitation Dan tightly wrapped his arms around his friend in an embrace, prompting a short gasp to escape from his friend's quivering lips. The older boy halted for a moment before returning the hug, burying his face into the neck of his dear comrade. Silent tears began to stain the shoulder of Dan's sweatshirt as they sat in each other's arms, the rest of the world disappearing if even just for a short while.

For the first time in weeks, both boys were at peace.

After giving the older male a couple minutes to calm down into a better state of mind, they separated, still sitting hip to hip on a couch made for four. Taking advantage of Dan's bad posture, Phil rested his head in the crook of Dan's neck, closing his eyes to sleep for the second time that day. As Dan smiled fondly at his friend's gesture, pink began to unknowingly dust his cheeks, a color he had quickly grown to adore over the past few weeks. Pink showed him what his boring white designs could never. Love. And what could possibly top that?

Sleep was beginning to overcome the mind of the younger as well, his thoughts becoming more and more drowsy and clouded as his brain began to shut down for the time being. Due to this fact, Dan confidently turned his neck to the dosing head of his partner in crime and kissed the top of it, the pink quickly turning to a more distinct red. However, before he could even begin to regret what he had done, he was out like a light. Two star crossed lovers asleep together on a couch at the beginning of a cold autumn afternoon. How romantic.

However, as the two of them dosed, an aspect of their lives lay forgotten. Their matching tattoos. From under the white sweatshirts a brightening pink hue began to emit from both of their swirls, a mix of various shades swirling around in a whirlpool. The lamps in the room began to flicker and lightly shake, the streetlamps outside following suit. But yet still the duo slept, perfectly content. The hurricane of color spun faster and faster, rising farther and farther into the air as the seconds ticked past. One.. Faster. Two. Faster still. Three. Lightning speed. Four. Still. Absolutely still.

Just like that, everything went back to normal. Lamps and lights turned back to ordinary, people outside going back along their business. After all, in this universe at least, things like this happened all the time. Just another normal London afternoon. Or, at least, everything seemed back to normal.

In the comfy apartment of Dan and Phil, something had been left changed. The colors and swirls that had once plagued their skins and thoughts were nowhere to be found. Forgotten from memory. Erased from time. It's results and consequences still remained of course. The universe changed for the better that day, but also stayed the same.

But then again.

In little ways.

Everything stays.


End file.
